We all need different things. Physically, we trust our bodies to tell us what we need to eat to remain healthy. Mentally, we trust our minds and the knowledge around us to keep us wise and in tune. Emotionally, we try as much as we can to listen to our hearts and be honest with ourselves and others.

Sometimes, however, we are not completely sure of how we feel and we struggle to express it. This is when we need those around us to read our emotions and figure out what will propel us into a positive space. When we are feeling low, we may struggle to see the light - we cannot tell anyone what we need, as we ourselves, are completely unsure and confused. As a result, we feel inadequate and this causes a chain reaction of negative emotions.

How many of you have heard yourself shout this phrase when someone has tried to lend a helping hand: 'You just don't understand!' Next time, stop and think twice before you respond. That person probably does understand - in fact, they may have experienced exactly what you are going through. The only difference is that their band aid is different to ours.

Gary Chapman wrote an extremely insightful book into the various languages we each speak when it comes to love and affection. What we need from those around us to feel optimistic and loved is completely different to what our partner / friend or family member may need. Here's how Chapman differentiates our languages:

1. Acts of Service – When our spouse / friend / family member helps with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, feeding the children, mowing the lawn, washing up.
2. Receiving Gifts – When our spouse / friend / family member gives us tangible contributions such as love notes, presents from a business trip abroad, perfume, flowers, rugby tickets.
3. Quality Time – When our spouse / friend / family member wants to spend time with us, doing something together or simply chatting and listening.
4. Physical Touch – When our spouse / friend / family member willingly gives us hugs, kisses, and wants to hold hands or be intimate.
5. Words of Affirmation – When our spouse / friend / family member gives us a constant supply of positive comments congratulating us on a job well done or simply saying how wonderful we are.

In order to really feel noticed, we need those around us to speak our language. Just as those we care about need us to understand which dialect they may be speaking. Do yourself a favour and figure out what languages you and those around you speak - it will make life a whole lot easier and will help you to create long-lasting, beautiful relationships.