Bring yourself back to life

Today’s blog is dedicated to a force beyond many – a woman by the name of Jessica Webster.

If you were listening to Highveld this morning, you would have heard about Jess and her plight - thanks to her sister Bryony.

Jess was in an armed robbery when she was in her early 20s and a gunshot wound left her paralysed. But she refused to give up. She made it clear to herself and the world that she was not going to live her life in a wheelchair. Her sheer determination and belief in herself ensured that she is now able to walk today.

I haven’t seen Jess for a while, but today’s broadcast reminded me of her infinite power. Imagine if we all had the ability and confidence to stare life boldly in the eye and summon the courage to say NO! Every morsel of Jess’ make-up believes that she will walk again and so far, she has proved that she knows best! By standing up for what she believes in, she has made it happen.

Instead of accepting her fate as forecasted by doctors, she stopped listening to everyone else and tuned into her little voice inside. The voice that whispered to her every day that she COULD get out of bed, that she COULD face the world and that she WOULD walk.

We all have those times where the universe feels like it’s closing in on us, where every day feels like a battle and happiness seems like this intangible star, floating further and further away from our grasp. It’s times like that when we need to learn to be like Jess – to stand up, tune in to our inner wisdom and gallantly shout NO.

The next time you find yourself being led by the opinions of others or doing something you would rather not do, take a deep breath and simply say no. Saying no does not mean that you are unwilling to compromise or give to others, it simply means you are allowing yourself to be free to choose the life you want for yourself.

Jess did not choose what happened to her, but she did choose HOW she would let it affect her life. She chose to be positive, she chose to be brave, she chose to fight. And her fight was all about taking control of her circumstances – being the survivor, not the victim and not allowing anyone else to tell her otherwise.

So, if you feel like life is running you as opposed to you being in the driving seat, stop complaining and start taking charge. Only you can stop you from becoming what you want to be. Nobody can take away your power. Nobody can stop you from being a champion. You are the one who decides. You are the one who can turn your life around. And you can do it right now.

To Jess – thank you for making me believe that anything is possible. Hearing you on the radio this morning has brought me back to life – a life that I am going to take charge of!

FYI - Not only is Jess a motivational force, she is also an astounding artist. To see some of her work, have a look at http://www.jessicawebster.co.za/

Everyone, let's go forth and conquer. The world is ours for the taking!

The Art of Surrender

There is something to be said about those who follow their heart’s true desires – people who can see their goal in bright, shiny letters and never take their eye off the prize. Those are the people who get what they want, when they want it. Those are the people I envy!

To master this art of goal achievement, you need to be able to live in a state of trust (so these successful people tell me). You need to learn how to surrender. In direct opposition to my understanding, surrender doesn’t actually mean giving up, it simply means letting go. Your goals are there, in the back of your mind, but you are willing to let go and trust that whatever is meant to be, wherever you are supposed to be going, you will get there – but only when you are good and ready.

Society struggles with the virtue of patience. We want everything to be as it should be right here and now. We have forgotten how to enjoy the moment we have been blessed with and instead focus all our energy onto the future – or even worse, the past. We know that the great author, Eckhart Tolle, specifically told us to live in the power of now and to focus on every second, but sometimes (let’s be honest) it’s damn hard – especially if our present situation is not exactly what we hoped for!

There’s no shame in wishing that your life were otherwise, but there’s something to be said about dwelling on what you don’t have. Some things are simply out of our control. To feel truly happy, it is imperative to learn to surrender. That is not to say that your goals become null and void, it just means that you are willing to trust that everything will work out for you when all the necessary elements are in place.

If you can move peacefully towards your aspirations, while remaining completely present in your current situation, you will find that doors will open up for you. And because you are paying attention to the moment, and not the future, you will be able to see the doors and you’ll walk through them with pride. But, if your head is constantly down, pushing to make your dreams a reality, you will miss everything else that is going on around you. You need to grant yourself the permission to stop trying.

That’s right, STOP TRYING SO HARD!

Have you ever felt so burnt out that you can’t even drag yourself out of bed in the morning? That is a sign that you are trying too hard – you are pushing directly AGAINST the order of your life, meaning you are actually battling your own soul. This is bound to tire you out – it’s like going into a boxing ring with yourself!

Instead, be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. When you accomplish something – no matter how small – reward yourself for listening and doing something you love. Next time you make it to the gym or you take yourself to watch a movie on your own, pat yourself on the back and say well done for doing something you wanted to do. This is the start – from here, you can have a whole life of things you dream of, but you must learn to let the universe play its role as your mentor.

Move towards your goals with peace in your heart and be determined, not desperate. Desperation will shift your goals further away from you, instead of bringing them closer. If something that you long for is not happening, learn to accept it and know it will happen when the time is right and you are ready for it.

Know in your heart what you want, and in your head, let go. Release and surrender. And every day, you will move even closer to your dreams without you even knowing it!

Creatively inspired

We've forgotten about him (that darn awesome guy)

Who used to make school time simply fly by

His name's Dr Seuss and I wrote this for him

To say thanks for making me a kid again:

You might just be (some may say)

A little bit crazy (in a very nice way)

But lucky for you I’m partly nuts too

So let’s fly away on a kite to the zoo

Let’s visit green rabbits and pink cockatoos

Then we’ll have ice cream and sit in our shoes

Until the time comes when the moon starts to shine

And all the ponds glisten with swamp guts and slime

Oh wouldn’t it be wonderful to live in a dream

Where everything laughed and no one was mean

A place where people hugged trees and the grass

And nobody ever got spanked on the ass

One day it’ll be mine for all eternity

But for now, I’ll just wish and I'll hope and we’ll see

Cos I know that a place like that would be smart

Where children (and adults) could follow their heart

Becoming unstuck

A fresh start they say. That's what they call it. But I call it something else - I call it the courage to become unstuck.

It’s been an uphill battle and I’m not even close to where I want to be, but the bedazzled lining on those fluffy balls in the sky is slowly starting to show – thank everyone and everything that is holy!

For the past few months, I have felt that yukky sticky black stuff creeping into my life again. It seems to rear its ugly head every time I start to feel stuck. It’s like this toxic waste fills up my body – my emotions become dull, my mind chatters non-stop and my body, well let’s just call it ‘average to poor’ on a good day.

So, in an attempt to cheer myself up, I took to the couch with a slab of Cadbury’s finest and  my favourite chick flick - Eat, Pray, Love. About 30 minutes into the movie, I realized I was far from cheery - the tears were streaming, the heart was longing and the mind was completely overwhelmed. No, no, no that wasn’t right dammit!

I pressed pause (PVR of pure joy) dragged my sorry ass outside onto my balcony (because it was the only place I felt like I could actually breathe) and just as Liz had done 15 minutes earlier, I looked up at the sky and asked (OK more like wailed) ‘WHYYYYY?’ (in my head of course – I live in a complex, waling would definitely ruin my street cred!)

I don’t quite know what I was hoping for – maybe a bolt of lighting would beat down and strike some sense into me or a delicate and vivid vision would appear detailing the path I needed to take to get me out of this mess. Or I would hear an angel whisper some beautiful calming advice that would lead to a life epiphany?

Nope. None of that.

Instead my tears suddenly stopped. I felt like I could breathe a little easier. And the only thing I could think about was the bookshop (my favourite place on earth). Now THAT made me smile! But before I could move, it started again – the incessant chatter from my mind:

But you wanted a day off, maybe it would be better to just get back on the couch?

Perhaps I should call my friend, I know she loves this bookshop, she might be able to talk some sense into me!

And then the best one (the one that rears its ugly head the most when the black sticky stuff is around)…

Wouldn’t it be easier to just eat?

It was at the point that I wanted to punch my own mind out of my very own head, because the thought of having no thoughts at all was far more appealing than listening to all that CRAP! And so I did what I had always been too scared to do – I told them to SHUT UP. I trusted my little voice, the very first one that entered my mind and made me smile. And I listened to it. It led me to the most fantastic afternoon in the travel section of the bookshop – so much so, that I have now found the answers I had been searching for.

The black stuff hasn’t completely gone yet, but I can tell you that the estimated time of disappearance is T minus 5 days or so. After that day on my balcony, I exercised when my little voice told me to and I did whatever I felt like doing – running some days, dancing around the house on others, even meditating when my energy was really low. When my little voice told me to eat some fruit, I made a smoothie – because I hate fruit, but I refused to turn to the dark side and reach for the chocolate again. I discovered a love for things of my past by buying a French vocab book for my trip to France next year. I even managed to smile. 

And that smile now lasts for almost an entire day at a time. All because I listened to the real voice - the one that spoke first. That’s the only one that really matters.

What now?

So we get the job, the house, the car. We have the friends, the family, the partner. We plan the wedding and the babies. We have the wedding and the babies. We save for their education. We keep working, making money, paying bills, saving, getting through life. We have done it all - so they say.

AND THEN?

We have no idea who we really are or what we want from life. We are trapped in supposed ‘societal bliss’, but it feels more like a jail cell. We long for more but we are locked into a contract for life.

AND SO?

We go mad. We eat more and exercise less. We battle fatigue and struggle to concentrate. We fight with our family and stop communicating with our partner. We cannot see the light no matter what.

AND WHY?

Not because we did all the things that society programmed us to do. Because we did it all against our own will. Before we were ready. When we were only half of who we really are.

AND?

The moral of the story is: stop listening to everyone else around you and start hearing yourself.

There is no need to follow in the footsteps of everyone around you if you truly aren’t ready. There is a beautiful journey waiting for you and only YOU have the map. Committing to anything that seems too big for you is like burying yourself alive – a lifetime of suffocation and claustrophobia.

Instead, be patient.

WAIT until you are a whole entity before giving yourself to someone or something completely. And if you aren’t whole yet, go and find the other pieces of your soul – they’re out there somewhere, waiting just as patiently. And only you know where they're hiding.

Itchy Feet

For those of you who have travelled the globe (either literally or in your mind) you will have experienced moments of indescribable happiness - those profound times when your entire perception of life changes due to something you discovered. You will also know how difficult it is to stay put after that. Once you have had the opportunity to take in new places, people and cultures, you get hooked on the euphoria of endless discovery.

Unfortunately society does not agree with spontaneity like this. It urges us to stay put by implying that success comes from creating a set foundation and cultivating it. Success at work means being a loyal employee and giving your life to one job, success in relationships means staying still long enough to get married and have children, success in life means money and making lots of it – BUT, what does it mean for you?

If your version of success does not that comply with the rules set by society, perhaps it’s time to reassess what the word truly means for you.

For those of you who suffer from itchy feet and long to travel to exotic locations or simply take the time out to learn new things, what is stopping you from doing it? There is no need to become a cog in a machine at a job you dislike or the second dead half of a relationship that’s stale. If you feel as though your pulse is fading and the life inside you is getting harder to find, you need to start making those itchy feet walk. There is an endless world of possibility out there, ready to coat you in happiness and colour you with fulfilment.

One thing to remember on your adventures is that if you are exploring in the hope of discovering yourself, you may need to stop for a moment. The real you is not out there somewhere, it is within. The discoveries you make on your explorations may help you to free yourself, but if you want answers to questions about soul mates and your soul purpose, everything you wish to know is right under your nose.

I am a strong believer in taking time out to reconnect with the cosmos and give yourself the soul food you need. Adventures are the best type of soul food as they send bolts of electricity that shock you back to life. Whether it’s travelling, taking yourself on a date or starting a hobby, do something today that satisfies your need for more.

The itch is there as your warning signal that life wants you to find a solution to your current situation - the only thing left to do is scratch it!

Coming Back to Life

Year 2011 has been a tough one for most of us – big life changes are happening and we start to realise that perhaps everything in our little bubble isn’t as perfect as we once thought it was. Everything is not, in fact, as it should be – and so, we find ourselves trapped in the endless search for meaning.

Whilst chatting to a friend about this constant search, she said something quite profound: ‘This year is all about learning our life lessons. 2012 is the year of rebirth, so if we don’t learn the lessons we are meant to learn, our soul cannot break free and find true fulfilment next year.’

I have definitely felt a universal shift of energy this year – not just in myself, but in the constant motion around me. People are rocking, swaying, bouncing; some are even running around in circles – their internal pendulum swinging rather than finding enough balance to remain still.

Stillness is something we feel when we are in complete alignment with our soul purpose – when we are doing something that evokes such happiness that we feel like we are lost in time and space. I have recently felt this stillness during a painting class, where my soul took over and FOR ONCE (in a looooong time) my mental chatter halted.

Suddenly, I connected with the life lessons the universe was trying to teach me - only because I switched off and let my soul do the talking. In one moment, I learnt more about myself than I have in years of study and self-exploration. I now know why my soul has been nagging to me to get myself to art classes –not only did I find internal peace, I also had an epiphany that led me to realise my true calling in life.

I encourage you to do the same. If you have the urge to do something or go somewhere, then DO IT – it’s your heart screaming out for love and your soul yearning to have the real you back. Your inner voice is trying to connect with you so that the right doors can be opened, allowing you to fulfil your true purpose.

For some, it may be horse riding, taking a run, reading a book. For others, it may be cooking, baking, painting, drawing, sculpting or even connecting with nature or playing with animals. You might even have a destination in mind, somwehere that has been calling you from afar for some unknown reason. Whatever it is that makes you feel like you want to dance around in glee, even just thinking about, go and make it happen. This is your still place - the space where all your questions will be answered. If you are ready to find solutions, to re-energise and revitalise, go and find your place of peace. Listen to the messages you have been receiving and take action. And dont forget: brace yourself as you are about to shock yourself back to life!