Make it Happen

Creative ventures, travel, relocation, new hobbies – we all have those dreams that consume our thoughts. But why do we struggle so much to make them a reality?

‘If only I had more time / money / creativity / talent / confidence, then I would be able to do everything I have always wanted to do.’ This mental block is the one obstacle that stands in the way of making these hopes become real. And funnily enough, you are the one creating it.

We like being the victim of our own destiny – never able to achieve what we yearn for as a result of a poor childhood or not enough support from our parents or those around us. This ensures that we are kept safe from success – never subjected to the spotlight and the opinions of others. In the same way, it allows us the freedom to continue complaining – if we can’t get what we really want, then we have a reason to be negative, grumpy and moody.

Imagine what would happen if we sold that painting, published that book, travelled to that place, took that course or made that change? We would have nothing left to complain about, we would actually have reached a point of satisfaction. And we all know what that means…

Happiness, fulfillment and joy of course! But, then again, we humans don’t like to be happy. Complaining and moaning are far more pleasing than smiling and taking some time out to actually ENJOY life!

In our painful quest to make something of our lives, we become so consumed with the outcome that we rarely enjoy the process. We worry if our book will sell, if anyone will like our painting, if we will make friends in our new location, if we will be any good at our new hobby – and in our dire attempt to be successful, we end up destroying our passion and all the many sparks that set us on this destiny path to begin with.

In those times, it is imperative that we take the time to breathe. Stop writing, painting, making travel arrangements, searching for the right course for a while and instead take some time out for you. Turn your phone off, disconnect yourself from your social life, leave work early, forget about being perfect and looking after everyone else. Take the time to nurture yourself and your soul. Free your mind and do the things you LOVE to do – watch your favourite movie, take yourself shopping, go for a walk in nature, have a picnic in your garden, buy yourself a pet. Whatever you do, make sure it is just for you.

Because, in finding yourself again, you will have the strength and the confidence to move forwards and make your dreams a reality.

Too busy, too bogged down

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

- Dr Seuss


Why do we wait around for the 'right' time to make a difference? There will never be a right time, there will never be a perfect cause, there will never be a possibility of helping everyone we encounter in our lives. But there is the option of caring a whole lot for one person, or even a handful of people.

If every person took the time out to truly care for another on a daily basis, there would be a million more smiles and infinite amounts of good energy around the world. If you question this theory, just think about how you feel when someone shows you that they care a whole awful lot - whether it's your partner, colleague, boss, friend, sibling or even the kind shop assistant - that simple expression of mindfulness towards you is enough to change your entire mood into something bright and warm.

Now imagine you could do this for those around you and then imagine you could do that for those who can't even remember the last time they were hugged. And imagine we all started doing our little bit to care that small ounce more - to tell those we love that we love them, to smile at the person next to us, to anonomously pay for the car behind us in the parking queue, to give sandwiches to the homeless, to spoil our partners to a romantic dinner, to buy a gift for a friend in need.

It doesn't take a lot, it just takes a thought. A thought that extends beyond ourselves.

If someone like you cares that little bit more, things will get better. Of that, I'm sure.

-The World

The Gift of Insight

I am guilty of it, just as I am sure many of you are - always looking for more. As much as we achieve and succeed, we have a tendency to be greedy for more. Recently, this has been pointed out to me quite evidently - looking back at my journal entries at the beginning of the year, I have achieved everything I set out to and yet I still find myself feeling discontent and wanting more.

I have no idea what has caused it and to be very honest, I have no solution to this feeling of longing, but I do know that savouring the moment, living mindfully and embracing the present is a gift that I would love to learn (but have not yet conquered). Meditation has always been the answer when I have asked the universe how to connect with the present moment, but unfortunately I happen to have an extremely active mind and no matter how much I try to still it, its playful nature keeps my mind on its toes!

So, I set out to work out how to love life and every moment. I don't know if I have yet succeeded, but I am certainly trying. Instead of simply looking at the sun, I now try to really feel it - the warmth on my skin and the way it lights up patches on my bed, creating little pools of heat where I can lie and read my favourite book. Instead of regarding cooking as a chore, I see it as an opportunity to be creative and try out something new and exciting. And, the biggest one for me - instead of feeling like work is a waste of my precious time, I use it to learn - gaining knowledge from others and perfecting the art of something I am passionate about.

I am no expert in 'being present', but I know that if I can see through the mandatories of every day and regard them all as little pieces of insight, then life will be a lot more bearable. Heck, it might even feel fulfilling!

If it's meant to be...

...It will be easy. Seriously. It won't take hours of effort and weeks of planning. It will fall into your lap when you least expect it and it will flow beautifully from start to finish. Yes, there will be a few speed humps along the way, but this is life after all - we can't expect everything to run smoothly all the time!

Relationships
The tougher it is, the less it is meant to be. The most beautiful, honest, working relationships are those that simply happen and both partners make it work, without it being a HUGE effort. The minute a relationship is more hard work than pleasure, it is just not meant to be I'm afraid.

Career
If you are in a job where you feel that every day is like running UP a treadmill on a 100 degree incline, it is not meant to be. Get out and go and do something that feels a little easier. I am not saying that success comes from sitting on your butt all day, but I feel it's important to mention that if you are barking up the wrong tree, you will know it! No matter how hard you try for that promotion, for some reason, it will always seem out of your reach.

Life
People tire themselves out trying to be someone else's version of perfect. If you are not meant to be skinny, you never will be. If you are not meant to be CEO of a company, you won't be. So try to be YOUR version of perfect - decide what makes you tick and then let it happen. The universe will hear you the first time, so picture your dream life and then get on with reality. Chances are that if you are meant to have what you wish for, you will.

Perfect Imperfections

It is in the imperfect that we find true beauty.

We are all searching for our own measure of perfection - to lose those extra kilos in order to flaunt a 'perfect' body, to refrain from saying how we really feel in order to maintain the 'perfect' relationship, to dye our hair the 'perfect' colour in at attempt to hide our true roots, to have the 'perfect' career so that we can have the 'perfect' life with the 'perfect' car and the 'perfect' family.

In nature, it is the imperfections that make us stop and stare - the rugged rocks alongside the picturesque lake, the lone daisy in amongst a field of daffodils, the vulnerable tree with half its leaves missing - revealing how even inanimate things seem to have feelings.

And isn't it strange how we are drawn to the runts of the litter - the puppy with the crooked ear and toothy grin, the kitten with the oddly shaped tail, lost in her own world. These beautiful, imperfect creatures are the ones that bring us the most joy, whose spirit shines through and whose character far outshines their beautifully manicured, perfect brothers and sisters.

We have all been blessed with our own imperfections - big ears, freckles, some extra curves, a shapely butt, short legs, a long torso, nose hair, moles, dark eyebrows, mis-shapen teeth. All of these beautiful imperfections are what make us even more lovable and what set us aside from everyone else.

Next time you are about to judge yourself or someone else on what you have been told by society is an 'imperfection', stop and think twice - could it actually be something beautiful, something that makes that person sparkle with individuality? I'm sure you could think of a few aspects of yourself that make you the person you are, rather than make you less perfect.

Start today - look for the perfect imperfections everywhere you go and in everyone you meet. I guarantee your life will become more magical by the minute.

Did I hear someone say perfect?

We all need different things. Physically, we trust our bodies to tell us what we need to eat to remain healthy. Mentally, we trust our minds and the knowledge around us to keep us wise and in tune. Emotionally, we try as much as we can to listen to our hearts and be honest with ourselves and others.

Sometimes, however, we are not completely sure of how we feel and we struggle to express it. This is when we need those around us to read our emotions and figure out what will propel us into a positive space. When we are feeling low, we may struggle to see the light - we cannot tell anyone what we need, as we ourselves, are completely unsure and confused. As a result, we feel inadequate and this causes a chain reaction of negative emotions.

How many of you have heard yourself shout this phrase when someone has tried to lend a helping hand: 'You just don't understand!' Next time, stop and think twice before you respond. That person probably does understand - in fact, they may have experienced exactly what you are going through. The only difference is that their band aid is different to ours.

Gary Chapman wrote an extremely insightful book into the various languages we each speak when it comes to love and affection. What we need from those around us to feel optimistic and loved is completely different to what our partner / friend or family member may need. Here's how Chapman differentiates our languages:

1. Acts of Service – When our spouse / friend / family member helps with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, feeding the children, mowing the lawn, washing up.
2. Receiving Gifts – When our spouse / friend / family member gives us tangible contributions such as love notes, presents from a business trip abroad, perfume, flowers, rugby tickets.
3. Quality Time – When our spouse / friend / family member wants to spend time with us, doing something together or simply chatting and listening.
4. Physical Touch – When our spouse / friend / family member willingly gives us hugs, kisses, and wants to hold hands or be intimate.
5. Words of Affirmation – When our spouse / friend / family member gives us a constant supply of positive comments congratulating us on a job well done or simply saying how wonderful we are.

In order to really feel noticed, we need those around us to speak our language. Just as those we care about need us to understand which dialect they may be speaking. Do yourself a favour and figure out what languages you and those around you speak - it will make life a whole lot easier and will help you to create long-lasting, beautiful relationships.

Cosmic Intervention

The universe is a lot closer to us than we think. In fact, the universe is what leads us to a better existence - it is our mentor, our friend, our companion and our constant guide. If you have ever asked a question and received the answer you wanted, you have encountered a cosmic intervention.

When in doubt or struggling to find an answer that is just not there, try to stop analysing, hypothesising and formalising and instead ask the universe. Write down your question or think about it once or twice before you go to bed and then STOP thinking about it. Set your intention and let it happen.You will soon find the answer comes to you in a way that you never expected: a book that contains the guidance you need will end up in your hands, a messenger will bring you news to guide you to where you need to be, your dreams will suddenly start speaking to you.

No matter how you receive the information, the universe will provide you with the signs you need to take you down the right path. You play the part of the receiver - keep your mind and heart open, listen to the signals you are given and you will not go wrong.

This process can be used for absolutely anything that is going on in your life:

• You want a new job, but you are not sure of what you want to do
• You need to move house, but you don't have the money
• You want to take a brerak from your relationship, but you don't know if you should
• You want to travel, but are worried about your career

If you simply set the intention - ask the universe for an answer or a solution to something that is bothering you - you will be amazed at how much guidance the universe provides. However, if you dwell on your problems and try to force a solution, you will be unable to hear the wise words of the cosmic guide and will end up back in the same place you started.

Keep your heart open, go with what is presented to you and listen well. If you are able to do that, you will always have someone to rely on and will always manage to tailor-make your life in exact accordance with your true needs and desires.