Wonderful Wild Women

When you think about the women in your life: are they wild, are they wonderful and powerful? Do they eat mangoes naked and run through wet grass under the moonlight? Do they love with their whole hearts and cry with their soul? Do they always put others before themselves, knowing deep down that their generosity will be returned when they least expect it? Every woman I know is wild, beautiful and full of light - some of them just don't know it yet.

If you are a woman who has not yet realised her succulence, who tends to feel unworthy, overweight and under-nourished on a soul level, who wishes for more yet can't figure out what she needs, then this is for you.

You are creative beyond measure, you are more powerful than a hundred warriors, you can change lives with just one smile and you have the ability to live a life of adventure, wonder and unlimited love. You are not who the mean people think you are, you are a Goddess of the world, here to help others see beauty through your magnificence. You are the heart of a flower, full of sweet nectar, soft petals and a rooted stem. You're grounded, confident, wondrous and powerful. You are a force of nature.

Instead of worrying about what others think, how you look in that tight dress, which heels make your legs look longer, how to please your boss and when to say the right thing, LET GO. Be the essence of a wild woman:

• Accept your power
• Say no to friends who expect too much
• Tell the truth
• Create miracles
• Make choices that make you feel alive
• Do the first thing that pops into your head
• Stop overanalysing and JUMP

My wish for you today is to honour yourself. See the beauty that everyone else sees - see it in yourself and in every other woman you meet today. We are all wonderfully wild women in search of our pack - make your pack today by admiring the women around you and inviting them to join you in celebrating your woman-ness together:

• Drink wine out of goblets on a picnic blanket while watching girly movies
• Go to the theatre wearing fancy hats and long gloves
• Throw a paint party where everyone gets to wear black plastic bags and finger-paint pictures
• Blend your own tea and then serve it with cucumber sandwiches and classical music
• Dress in your sexiest outfits and dance to 80s music in your friend's lounge
• Eat whatever you like and share the joy of not feeling guilty
• Cut up the clothes you don't like and stick the pieces onto a jacket to make something retro
• Write a love letter to your best friend on a white pillow case so she always has it next to her
• Ask your friends to send you 3 messages about why they love you (then write them down and stick them on your wall!)
• Take your mom and best friend for a massage and then paint eachother's nails bright colours
• Write vows to yourself, to always honour and cherish yourself until death do you part

To all the incredible women in my life, old and new, young and wise - thank you. You have made me feel alive!

Get rich and love it

You say you want something else, something more, but do you actually know what it is you are searching for? I didn't. For a long time I complained, moaned and turned my nose up, behaved like a 4 year old who had lost her Barbie (not pretty). And I kept looking at everyone else who was making something of themselves and severely disliking them for it. And then feeling bad about being mean to people who deserved their greatness. Ugh it was ugly. Have I said that already?


There were all these burning desires inside me - I could SEE that my future was bright, I KNEW I was worth more than a 9 to 5 job that I found remotely interesting (and that's only because of the coffee-time gossip sessions I managed to squeeze in every now and then). But I couldn't move. It's like my legs were wrapped in putty and I was stuck where I was. And that just made me even more angry! 


Then, I stumbled upon a very smart man called Napolean Hill. For those of you who are not familiar with him, he wrote the world-acclaimed 'Think and Grow Rich'. And let's be honest, if there is one thing that makes us all happy, it's MONEY! Now, I thought this financially-savvy, right-brained man would go on and on about saving, budgeting, being clever with your money, investing in the stick exchange (and all the other things that I have absolutely no clue about). But to my delight, he didn't. In fact, he focused on something completely opposite that happens to be very close to my heart - finding your purpose.


'Whoopppeeee' I thought! I'm actually not crazy. All this time I have had my own theories about how success comes to those who follow their passion and deepest desires. And here was this dude (from the 1980's), (who was very smart) who was saying exactly the same thing PLUS he had all the evidence to back it up - Edison, Ford, himself - they all trusted one thing and one thing only - THEIR VERY OWN BURNING DESIRE. And it was this surety of purpose, knowing exactly what they wanted and never veering off-track from their destination, that made them all millionaires!


From here, I couldn't contain my excitement. I decided that everyone should know about this. Instead of just writing about it, I wanted people to EXPERIENCE a process that helps them do what these great men did: locate their definite purpose. When I was stuck in the putty, my purpose was buried very deeply and that is what kept frustrating me. I had an idea of what it was, but it needed to be dug up. So, I followed the instructions in the book and I dug it up. I feel like I have unearthed a gold mine!


Master of Life has been born. 


Master of Life is all of this blog incarnated - it's real-life, in-the-flesh, let's-make-it-happen and it's open to everyone. It's a full-proof formula that will transport you to success and fulfillment. I believe everyone has the potential to gain riches - money, love, happiness, health - sometimes we just need a little nudge in the right direction. Master of Life will make sure that you get exactly what you are searching for.


My darling boyfriend, Baz, has kindly put together an awesome webpage for me with more info on Master of Life and my book: www.theidesign.co.za so check it out if you dare to dream big!


The key to success is not money, it's learning to master your own life. And in your mastery, money will flow.

The negative power of assumption

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.
~Alan Alda

We are all entitled to our own opinion, of course. But sometimes it is safer to keep it to yourself. You may think you know what is right for your partner, child, best friend or parent, but the harsh truth is – you don’t. The only thing you really know is what is true for you.

So often when sharing a conversation with someone, we are told that we have made the wrong decision or that we should rethink our motives and action plan. These assumptions are often what stop us just as we are about to succeed, as we are about to find happiness and follow our heart. That is when we need to remember that these assumptions are simply that – something that someone else has conjured up in their mind as result of their own circumstances.

That is not to say that the opinions of those who care about us are not valid. It simply means that WE have the power to CHOOSE what we want to believe and DECIDE which truth is our truth.

Reversing this situation, remember that you have also been one to offer unnecessary opinions. The next time someone you care about shares something important with you, rather just sit and listen instead of making an assumption based on your own judgments. And if your opinion persists, take a moment to think about what has been triggered in your life – what are you scared of, where are you afraid to go, what do you wish you could do with your life?

We like to think of ourselves as altruists, but in essence most of us are self-centred – not selfish, just self-focused. So when we have conversations with people around us, 90% of the time we aren’t listening whole-heartedly, we are actually thinking about how what is being spoken about affects our own lives. This is not a bad thing, however it is not always necessary to share these concerns in the moment. Sometimes it is better to just remain quiet and then simply ask questions. Take yourself out of the conversation and be the altruist you want to be – the listener, the empathetic friend, the support, the encouragement. And if you have no idea how to do that, just start by listening without thinking about yourself.

Rather than making a judgment and highlighting all the things that could go wrong with your friend's / partner's / parent's / child's plan (because ultimately that's what we do - whether it is to protect them or because it's a personal reaction), simply get them to make up their own mind by asking the right questions:

·          How are you going to do that?

·          How do you feel about it?

·          What’s next in your plan?

·          Do you have any fears about it?

·          How can I help you?

By asking the most simple questions, you allow the light to clean up your incorrect assumptions and, instead, shed some light onto your interactions and into your very own life. Plus, the next time you have something you want to talk about, that friend / parent / partner will more than likely allow you the courtesy, too, to speak freely without judgements or assumptions.

Tribute to a true dream-maker

The universal laws of attraction never cease to amaze me. Today, I decided to focus on dreams and how we keep following them even when we are faced with obstacles. Personally, I had a bit of a wobbly this morning and became a little too consumed with the outcome of my goal rather than enjoying the process. And as much as I believe in the words I wrote in the previous blog, sometimes they are difficult to embody in real life.

Out of the blue, I received an email this afternoon (thanks Tam) about a friend from university, Kingsley Ward. Kingsley completed his training for the British army in 2008 and deployed for Afghanistan in 2009. One month before he was due to return from combat, he stood on an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) and as a result, lost both legs, his right arm and most of his left forearm.

One would have thought that this type of trauma would be enough to turn anyone from a fighter into a bed-ridden victim (goodness only knows I would have struggled to face every day if it was me). But Kingsley thought nothing of the sort. It was always his dream to be make his country proud and DAMN is he doing that! Not only does Kingsley partake in all sports on his prosthetic limbs, he has also managed to ski down some of the toughest slopes, swim in triathons and is currently trianing for Ironman next year.

I have a lump in my throat as I write this. I feel so weak and for almost giving up on my dream, when here is a young man whose life did a complete 360 in a matter of seconds, and still he gets up every day and lives his dream. I am humbled to the point of tears.

Kingsley Ward, thank you for reminding me of the sacrifices we have to make to follow our dreams - even if those sacrifices are something we never prepared for or even imagined. You have proved that anything can be accomplished if we continue to focus on the dream. You are a true hero.

For more information on Kingsley and his incredible accomplishments, have a look at the following:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/01/02/limbless-soldiers-take-to-the-ski-slopes-115875-22820623/

and

http://www.truespirit.org.uk/the%20team/wardkingsley.html

25 year old Kingsley, flying down the slopes in Colorado

Keeping your dream alive

Sometimes we just feel like giving up.

Even though our dreams might be grand and would make us happier than anything, the pressure of trying to attain them and the anxiety of having to wait for them to materialise is sometimes just unbearable. It seems as though we are stagnating or, even worse, moving backwards.

This is the time when most of us decide to just give up hope. I have actively thrown in the towel on a number of my dreams for fear of failure, lack of self-confidence or just plain exhaustion. However, after immersing myself in the autobiographies of the world's most successful people, I can boldly say: WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THIS, DON'T GIVE UP!

Too often we let go of our dreams just as they are about to become a reality. When you feel as though the struggle is too much to bear, that is the EXACT moment when your dream is actually coming into being. Giving up will mean that you choose to let it slip through your fingers, even though it was right within your reach.

The greatest dreams are always followed by the biggest struggles. If they weren't, then the dream would not be a dream - it would simply be part of every day life. To set yourself a challenging goal is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself, as you are openly affirming that you are capable of achieving the impossible.

Something we never stop to consider is the energetic shifts we make with one thought. What you don't realise is that if you have taken the time to think about your dream, to write it down and tell others about it, a process has been set in motion. This process is far beyond our imagination and is something that we will never see, but it is happening - every minute of every day. If you believe that your dream is important to you, then live it. Instead of thinking about how you aren't getting where you need to be fast enough, instead thank yourself for having the courage to dream big.

If you have set your intention, and you know in your heart that you are following your purpose, the mechanics of your dream will fall into place. You will never know how to make it all happen, but I can guarantee that if you stay focused on what you want and trust that you deserve it, everything you wish for will become real - when the time is right. For now, all you can do is stay determined and know that your dream is just around the corner.

Next time you wake up and feel like it's not worth it and you want to give up, ask yourself:

• How would this dream change my life?
• If I achieved this dream, how would I feel about myself?
• How could this dream help those I love?
• Why wouldn't I want to keep moving towards my dream?
• Are the obstacles I see really obstacles?
• Who can help me to get over these challenges?

And then close your eyes and see yourself making your dream happen. You will never want to part from it again! 

A sneak peek - The I Design book

I do not claim to be a guru of life, as I believe that everyone is the master of their own destiny.

In reading The I Design novel, I hope that every person is able to create a life that is right for them – whatever it may be. I do not preach the usual self-help tools and techniques, but rather I tell stories – about my life and the lives of others I have met in my profession as a life coach. These stories have taught me everything I know about life and love and I have used them to guide me towards conclusions. Throughout the book, I open up these opinions to the reader, encouraging them to form their own ideas of each element of life. That is what is most important to me – assisting others to design their life, their way.

No matter who you are or what you do, you long to wake up every morning knowing you are going to make a difference to those around you. You want to know that you are here for a reason and that you fulfil a purpose. But, for many of us, we are unsure of what that purpose is. Or, even worse, we know what it is, but we are too afraid to make it happen. Having the courage and confidence to control your life is the first step to attaining your goals and finding personal direction.

In order to get to a space where you have set your goals and are determined to make them happen, you need to conquer the fears that hold you back. Beliefs are the foundation of fear. If you have allowed the beliefs of your family, friends and society to rule you, you are bound to fail. But when you are ready to create new beliefs for yourself, success is inevitable.

Once your new beliefs are cemented, you have the personal power to attain your goals. So, the next step is to identify your short, medium and long term goals, ensuring that you only choose aspirations that truly reflect who you are.

To make these goals a reality, it is imperative to take the time for yourself. Taking time out allows you to focus on your goals and find ways to make them happen. Without these moments of personal space, your direction will be skewed, as you are the only one who can design the life you want. Consequently, your physical being becomes sick and plagued with illness as you refuse to give your body and mind the relaxation they deserve.

Often, physical ailments manifest as a result of emotional turmoil. By keeping your emotions to yourself, you end up poisoning your body. But, if you can learn to express yourself in real time, your body will be healthy and your relationships will soar. Self-expression is one of the most basic actions, yet so many people have no idea how to speak their truth. If you can identify your truth, you can speak it too.

Living your truth is the foundation for living a life of purpose, but you are guaranteed even more success if you learn to have fun while doing it. Spontaneous acts of kindness towards yourself and others is just one way to be playful with life. As Richard Branson says, ‘The minute I stop having fun, I stop doing it!’ And look at the good fortune he has attracted to himself!

Ultimately this book is not about preaching life philosophies. Instead, it provides readers with the opportunity to work through elements of life in order to find their own personal direction. Exercises, questionnaires and opinion polls allow every reader to create their own story and guide themselves towards personal transformation.

The I Design: How to live, laugh and let go

- out January 2012 

Know your value, find your way

So often we find ourselves in situations that do not honour us. We agree to do something that doesn’t sit well with us, or we get involved in a gossipy conversation just to fit in. When we find ourselves feeling uncomfortable, it is generally as a result of going directly against our morals.

Knowing your values gives you the strength to be who you really are. By simply living a life that contains people and environments that agree with your values, you will find your happiness factor rising considerably.

The reason for most arguments in relationships, friendships and work situations is the clashing of values. You know that if your top value is truth and someone lies to you, you will find it very difficult to ever trust that person again. The same goes if your top value is achievement and you happen to be dating someone with a lack of drive and ambition. You are most likely to fight a lot and will probably end up separating.

The truth is, there is probably nobody else out there with the exact same value sequence as you, so life is not about finding someone who has identical values to you. It is, however, important to know your values and the values of those around you – particularly your partner. By knowing your partner’s values, you create an atmosphere of understanding AND you are able to please your partner with ease.

I know that if I come into contact with someone whose top value is self-confidence and mine is love, it will be easy for me to lovingly give them a compliment. I am then using my value to speak directly to theirs by saying something that will boost their confidence and make them feel good. We are then likely to create a lasting relationship. But if I went up to that same person and lovingly insisted that they could do with a session at gym, I would still be in alignment with my values, but not theirs. This would definitely be a catalyst for a fight – or at the very least, a negative emotional response.

My suggestion is that you decipher your values and then try to get the people around you to do the same. There are hundreds of values to choose from, but here is a list to get you started:

• Wealth
• Success
• Peace
• Balance
• Love
• Happiness
• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Integrity
• Achievement
• Truth
• Trust
• Optimism
• Self-worth
• Generosity
• Kindness
• Empathy
• Compassion
• Openness
• Respect

Once you have chosen your top 5 values, rank them in order of importance. Then consider how you may use them or not use them daily. These 5 values can (if you would like them to) become your blueprint for life – guiding you along your path, helping you to find your true purpose.

For example, if compassion is your top value, but you feel like your life is full of selfish means with no show of compassion, it might be an opportunity for you to show your compassionate side. Perhaps a career in community work or welfare is what you really need to make yourself happy?

By using your values as your compass, you will always find happiness, fulfillment and success.